I have a problem. A situation.

There is a child in my daughter’s class who has a severe peanut allergy. I’m not sure which child it is, but we have been told it is a serious problem and there are no nuts in the classroom. Got it, understand, I can respect that and recognize it’s a real challenge for both the kid and the parents.

We eat peanuts at our house with what I can only call gay abandon. I think this is the most appropriate term for our peanut eating because, literally, if you come to the area in my house where my kids play and eat snack (frequently at the same time), there are peanuts everywhere. In sofa cusions, in the crevices of toys, under the carpet. I vaccuum (I’m just saying that to make myself feel better but I have vaccuumed in the past at some time). I’m not sure what my kids are doing with these peanuts – they must be using them to stage parades or other events involving confetti, but somehow, out of all of the possible foods in the world to be hiding all over our house, I find peanuts everywhere.

I don’t really know what to do about this. Do I need to send a note to all parents when we set up a playdate – I won’t serve your kids peanuts but they are likely to brush up against one when they sit on the couch? Even if I really, really cleaned, I would still be nervous about peanut infringement.

Teach my kids that food is for eating? To keep snacks at the table and not as a prop in their next adventure or the main character in the latest princess-themed snack time mini-drama? I haven’t put a peanut in a snackpot in like a month and I still find them everywhere (please see earlier comment vaguely referencing frequency of household cleaning regimen).

My daughter’s birthday is coming up and I was thinking of having a few friends to our house for a tea party but I don’t know which girl in her class has the peanut allergy. Do I send a note to the parents saying: your child is invited but if you’re the one with the peanut allergy our home is not safe for you so you’re welcome but don’t come, we’ll all be here without you? Just a hint rude and horrible, no?

But I just can’t clean that well. I don’t think professionals can clean that well. Even if we have no rogue nuts, the oils must have saturated all of the fabrics in the house. When I said gay abandon, I wasn’t joking. But surely other people eat peanuts at their houses and have friends over who have peanut allergies?

This is not what I meant to write about next. I really, really want to share more info about project: defrag. But the peanuts thing is at the front of my mind today so there you have it.

I hope I don’t sound insensitive or unconcerned and I’m certainly not trying to throw it in anyone’s face that we’re eating peanuts at our house with, well, with gay abandon (hmmm… well, i’m not TRYING to throw that in anyone’s face). I just didn’t think eating peanuts at home would be a problem until I started finding them everywhere (I don’t let my kids throw peanuts when they are in my line of sight (or sound)) and then I just started finding them everywhere. I’ve made snack changes in the meantime but they are persistent little boogers. Any advice on a home peanut detox much appreciated.

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